just what i needed

to the person(s) who burgled my house last night,

i suppose i should thank you for making sure i wasn't home when you pried open the burglar bars, climbed into my window and ransacked my sanctuary. thank you for taking the courtesy of leaving no fingerprints when you broke everything in sight and ripped everything else to shreds.
thanks for giving me a wake-up call to no longer feel safe in my own home or neighborhood and thank you kindly for leaving my tv, bike, playstation, jewelry, passport and various and sundry other valuables.

but did you really have to take my most-prized possessions? what will you do with my computer and the years of photos and music and memories accumulated therein? what will you do with my houseguests's computer and the hours upon hours of work contained? what about his TOILETRY case? could you not find any proactiv in the pharmacy down the street? but really, whatever will you do with my entire drumset, minus one leg you left on the floor like a fuked-up calling card?

at least you left me my health, right? apart from the palpitations and hyperventilations and sudden-onset paranoia, i'll be just fine.
signed,
an incredibly bereft (and pissed-off) sxg